mochi almost 'escape' yest. she went on an excursion to the living room. lol.



so broke, so broken, so broken off, so broken down.

i've lotsa problems now. includin migraine n insomnia, i'm so dead. i need PILLS. lol. n worst, it's hard to CATCH BERRY back to the cage! TAT BITCH. haks. but now she's taggin mochi almost everywhere she go. playing together. n mochi's protectin her. so sweet. if onli.... aites, shall try forget bout those unhappy stuffs. i've dumb bunnies for example boxer trying to rape flip. OMG! hahas. sis's still not coming home i think. blah blah blahs. i've no one to complain to. =(


mochi MOLESTED MI! OMGGGGGGGGGG~ lucky she's a female. if not i'll smack n bbq it. LOL. ahahas.

boo~ my body's aching. muz be coz of the crazily playing of badminton. n oso mayb i cant slp well becoz of some fat ass. hahas. anyway hope we all join the captain's ball thingy ar. like so fun. hahas. watched bleach. so nice!! bwahahahaha.

mon's gonna suck. haben do chen mei mei's compo. OMG! blahs. i'm so tired. a headache's strikin me.

i so so so wanna go out n hav fun. i wanna go shopping, go pool, or kbox or sth. i'm bored. hahas.

oh ya, juz wanna say i love those stupid acts of my bunnies. boxer stood up, tilt behind, lean on flip n flip moved away n BAH! boxer fell. wahahas. it's so sweet to see mochi n berry playing together. even berry became cleverer. she knows how to jump n enjoy life on sis's bed. hahas.

she's so irritating at times. boo~! tsk tsk. stop trying to piss mi off when i'm already not in the mood.

anyway forgot to say. stop looking at mi one kind lor. i noe u all can dress up well. so wad? u all changed doesnt mean i WILL CHANGE WIF U ALL. big deal if u've got lotsa of clothes. u've got ur bf TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING. n i go to sch to study, not conduct a fashion show. so u dun hav to look from top to bottom to check mi out. say it rite in my face lah. u dun hav to stare. NYP, SBM BUSINESS MANAGEMENT COURSE BIG DEAL AR? such a bitch. stop being such an ass. u're worst than tat.

feels so wrong. everything feels so wrong. even the weather temperature. feeling damn cold. i dunno y. a headache hit mi on the train. but least it's GONE now. hahs. sch's boring. no interest in studyin. i wanna get a job. it's my first priority. went around today. got him something which i promise. i mean i promised to get him something. anyway after everything, went to tanjong pagar for interview. den went to tampines see lao gong rebond hair. make mi so tempted. think i wanna rebond soon. when i've gt the money which is nv possible. haks.

MY HP LAG! JUZ RECEIVED A MSG WHICH WAS SENT ON 19NOV! GOODNESS.

u giv mi all those attitude face n wan mi to say wad' wrong wif mi, wad more can i say? of coz the best is keep my mouth shut. n the least u could do is giv mi a hug b4 u left. but.. ya.

-----------------------------
sometimes i'm juz so envious of her. she doesnt hav to think nor worry no more. least she was taken over by death n not a lover's heartbreak. least she knew he loved her dearly even till she was gone. so dearly.

-----------------------------

something's wrong. but i juz cant figure out wad it is.

-----------------------------
it's over. i need wan a hug.

tears dropped. fuck.

FUCK YOU! I RATHER FALL FOR A GIRL. N I SIMPLY CANT BE BOTHERED ANYMORE.

i'm gonna make a blog to bitch coz my bf aint there for mi to bitch. so well. hahahs. feel so much better chattin wif brandon. least he's lame n funny. hahas. miss chattin wif him. it's 12plus in aussy now. he went to movie world. so cool lor. got tweety, bugs bunny, taz!!! n more lah. hahas. super cute lor taz. hahas.

some of my money is missin in my account. i've replaced the money i took out. hmm, gotta find how come.

duhs. kiwi's tryin to ACT CUTE AGAIN when he's not AT ALL. n bf, u should stop actin cute too. =P hahas.

i'm so tempted to dye my hair(deep current) but yet not. arghH! i need mama's help~!!! anyway, i wanna get a job(hopefully) n earn money n get tat 6111 or n92 phone. they simply caught my attention. hahas. bf, PLEASE BE RICH WHEN WE GO OUT NEXT TIME CAN? =x muahaha. i'm juz kiddin. blehs.

havin a damn headache now again. boo~

i need to tok. can i bash someone up? =D

tat brown male scratched me! damn. but luckily flip did not when i carry him. n somehow he managed to jump onto sis's bed again but this time without any rack or box to help him.

- how do u penetrate someone's thoughts? observe. =) -

i PLAYED WIF MOCHI!!! see, told u i've gt a way. hahas. =P

- born to love. running away aint the best solution. always remember tat. =) -

16/11 : went to causeway to celebrate kiwi's bday wif cs, jy, julian, ah neh, jm, sab, ah bu, mi n of coz kiwi. ate at pizza hut. bought a mango cake for him. hahas. den the guys went off to jurong to ice skate first while we search for his gift. got two shirts for him. den we went to jurong to find them. saw a guy in orange n white skating. tat's wad i call SHUAI. n he held on to a little gal n skate wif her. this is wad i call CUTE. (to my bf: u SHOULD BE JEALOUS. muahaha.) den went to play pool. watched them play n i did play awhile but coz i still suck at it, n cs bth the slowness of the game, he took over mi. hahahs. den jm left coz she gt bbq. cs left coz he going to zouk. hahas.

after all those games, we proceeded on to marina square. ah bu left coz she gt dinner at home or sth. walked around n den ate again at yuki yaki buffet. hahas. after all those normal cookin of food. we MADE OUR OWN ICE CREAM. haha. it's so damn cool lor. mixin all those diff favours together. lolx. we left onli when they annouced they're closed.

went to esplanade n took some photos. den went home feelin super tired. it's still freaky to go home alone coz u tend to notice things u dun realli notice when u're not alone. like the FAT LIZARDS on the wall of the station. (..") hahas.

18/11: went to south to eat. saw leon on the way. he aint tat 'wow' as i tot. he's tryin to keep a low profile i guess. he dun even dare to look us in the eye. anyway, went to town to buy sth for ah neh with the usual peeps except this time julian didnt follow. n jy followed ah neh buy gift for his fren first. hahas. (to bf: dun jealous again. i'll get sth for u soon. i hope. =P wahahas.) ate at ljs. saw some DAMN AP HWA CHONG INSTITUTE ASSES. we wun be so pissed if u dun say wad u had. u lookin for trouble if u can piss ah neh off lor. so wad if u're smart? but if u're not considerate, or hav some fucking attitude probs, there's no point being smart coz u simply piss ppl off. the guys tried to act big n jiang yi qi kind lor. wth. as if u realli are. if some ppl find fault or wanna beat u, think u'll be the first to run. HAHA. anyway they like scared kena beaten by us lor. hahas. the guys keep shiftin their places. wahhahas. the gals keep asking if we were gonna sit or can they take the place. hahas. wth.

anyway went home after tat. went to sis room to catch the stubborn brown bunny back in the cage. den when i was in my room, i was shocked to heard some noises in her room. so went to her room again. saw flip stampin. he(i supposed) tryin to rape mochi, his mom lor. den i carry mochi out thinkin it'll be fine. on my way back to my room. heard those noise again. opened the door. the noise stopped so i stand at the door. den saw heard the noise again n i figured out it WAS FLIP. i think one of the brown ones is male too. coz they two tried to gang bang the other one coz she(i supposed. i dunno who's boxer or who's berry.) tried to escape, biting the cage n givin out some noises. so i brought her out.

told sis. sis say the gal one is too young to get pregnant coz if she did so, she'll die. =( so flip's now blacklisted n separated from the rest. he the onli one being lock in the cage. hahs. serve u rite for tryin to rape ur sibling n mom. blehs. =P

bf came over to my house supposedly to buy food for mi but he ended up empty handed to my home. sis shocked him by asking 'who ask u come my house' i think. LOL.

i wanna catch a movie soon. bf, u saw it. so u better make time for mi. muahahas.

wk msg mi yest out of a sudden. so damn shocked. n well, after all those chattings, found out he finds ah bu attractive. hahas. haiyo, as long as u're a guy, most prob u'll notice her first coz she's attractive n furthermore, she knows how to dress up n is very slim. den after tat, will u notice the others coz u're simply blinded by her right from the start.

i wanna play wif mochi. but she dun wanna play wif mi. sadded. i'm gonna find a way to make her play wif mi! whahaas. =D

- she's the coa. no wonder everyone's fallin for her. -

got tempted by lao gong. i wanna watch juz like heaven!!! duhs.

blah blah blahs. had a hard time catchin all the FOUR bunnies back into their cage. flip was the easiest. muahahas. mochi is super cute. simply cute. slipping while eatin. LOL. flip's fallin asleep.

bwahs. shall go sleep now. i'm bored. n they dun wanna play wif mi. =( hahas.

time now. 1202. happy birthday KIWI!! hahahs.

a complete total mismatch.

aites, it weird y i'm still feelin this way coz i shouldnt be as i should have accepted tat fact long time ago. but actually i dun think i have. so much things reminds mi of her especially jay chou. n the fact tat no one actually knows y she did it sucks more.

look thru frenster. can say i kpo or sth. link till phylis' frenster. n in her pic, she put up bout 3 to 4 of hew's pic instead of hers. they took lotsa pics together i guess. but as for us, we onli took 3 from wad i noe. first on a 859 on the way to her house, second on the last day of sch n last on prom. all those things i did to her, i was so childish then. so easily influenced. even till now. n i started pushing her out of my life apart from all those fun we had. u cared even though i ignored u. yet i'm glad at least we were back as frenz before u left. at least i'd hav one less regret in this life.

i dunno why things will end up lydat. had i not be so childish in the first place, would things have changed? bwahs.

in fact, she was the first to realli gain my trust out of my circle of frens. she knew mi well though a short time too. i mean if i didnt trust her, i wun even dare to stay over at her house. least she dun say out wad i tell her. the first i stayed over at her house. the first i realli told to bout my mom. guess she took pity on mi too by treatin mi well. lettin mi stay over at her house, eat up her food, dye her hair, play badminton n bball, playin her guitar, using her com, treatin mi to swensens when she didnt hav to, tokin to her mom n dad, suppers, n lots more. she's so like my bf. hahs. but well, maybe all those who treats mi better is cause they noe bout wad happen to my mom. there aint realli such genuine ppl who treats u well because they wan to treat u well. they treat u well is maybe cause of sympathy, pitiness, companion etc. blahs.

overall, i'm juz sad to not be able to see her, tok to her, go her house, sleepovers, stories, bitchin, ur sarcasm, ur smile. i've let u down. n the guilt juz wouldnt go even if u're gone. so sorry. but the least u could do is at least tell us y before u left. i'm overwhelmed.

i'm amazed at the amount of time i spend doing nothing infront of the com n tv, in which the time should be spent on studyin. eh, well, at least it should be. hahs.

*yawns* i so feel like sleepin. weather's bad. it can be scorchin hot at one moment, n raining cats n dogs in another.

oh ya. didnt mention the other time. bought my bag. =) n saw sly on the way home. she's red. hahas. =P

anyways, sis bought this corn n some fast food look alike thingy for the bunnies to chew. for the corn, i think i noe how they'll chew. but as for the fast food thingy, i have COMPLETELY NO IDEA.

i so SO SOO SOO feel like going shoppin. or at least leave my house for a few days to some other places. i'm bored. i so wanna play wif the bunnies. but like wad sis say, they'll onli play wif themselves. blehs. n oso, from the place i'm sittin, i can simply see them lying around, lookin sleepy n bet they cant be bothered wif me. =(

n yay! saw fireworks yest. gosh. so beautiful. but too bad it's too far away.

blink 182. i'm gonna get their cd. hopefully soon. so many many cds i wanna get. jay, luo zhi xiang, mayday, nan quan mama, rainie... a hell lot. but well, blink 182 suits my mood nowadays. i need something noisy. hahas. =D

havin a damn headache. boo~ but least i'm contented tat it dun worsen. watched fruit basket. so CUTE!!! muahahs. cute cute cute. =D but it's kinda sad at certain parts.

everything i say below is of no link.

envy n jealousy are juz a line apart. u can be envious of a person because they have something u dun. but when it turns into jealousy, everything lose control.

hatred rips u of u. maybe i should initiate to make peace wif her AGAIN. tat cycle has been repeated umpteen times tat i dont know wad really to do. ahh. i dont know. i dont know wad to do actually. one could never be perfect. not even ur family. thus, when u're having an 'inperfect' family, the next u could actually lean on is ur frens. i mean they're the next u could trust. u cant possibly tok to a stranger on the streets n pour all ur inner thoughts to him/her rite? but when they've broken ur trust over n over again, r u supposed to forgive n forget, n giv them another chance?

it's actually weird to see someone u noe n not tok or at least greet the person. so wad if the cycle will repeat itself again. gradually u'll lose contact/quarrel n then suddenly u're not frens anymore. den, the betrayal cycle will repeat itself again. if i make peace wif her, wad will change? if i dun, wad wun?

aites, i dunno wth i'm toking above.

saw lihui yest. miss her damn lot. so feel like havin a tok wif her. least she noe mi quite throughly though in a very short period. least i get constructive advices. least i dun get so lost. least i noe who i am then. least she's the kind i wanna be. i'll remember wad she's told mi. but i noe i can never do it wif my kind of character. bwah,,

i'm feelin guilty for findin fault. findin fault wif my loved ones. n coz they seemed to be there whenever i need them. thus i vent my anger, my frustrations on them as i noe they wun leave mi. den, suddenly they disappear. soon, i'll become damn lost. wif no one, simply no one, for mi to vent my anger, my frustrations. i mean who will realli be there for u when u're not even blood-related. they'll leave u one day. juz like our loved ones. so if u were to leave one day, please let mi noe in advance. at least i'll have a day to accept it n it wouldnt be tat sudden.

i miss tat pink rose from u.

i've a dumb bf. blehs. hahas.

everyone's changin.

pretty white roses. best presented wif a box of chocs. the best i've ever got. =D aites, happy 5th month. =)) hopefully i wun get it from my dad ar. hahas.

frenster's down. frenster sux. =x hahas.

anyway, sch started. dun realli hav the study feelin yet. mayb coz too much tutorials n labs have been cancelled. but well, it's gd to be in sch. =)

hmm, let's see. today. kinda agitated. by who? a bitch. blahs. wtf is wrong with u? it's not as if we ARE SNATCHIN THE GUYS AWAY FROM U! we are simply not into the kind of guys u like. oso, stop going ga-ga over guys who juz have looks. n when they giv out the signal tat u're too over or they're not interested in u, simply stop wad u've been doing coz it's simply irritating if u continue on.

humans are weird. they go for appearance. so if u noe how to dress up nicely, ppl like u. juz like a peahen, which tries to attract peacocks wif their feather. so for guys, they look at pretty girls. if not, as long as the girl is thin, they think she's pretty. as for girls, they see the way guys dress. den their hair, den height, den face. if he's better lookin, they think he's handsome. wth is wrong wif them? blehs.

tok to jacky. he says pay is out today. i shall check tml. if it's still not there, (curse tat bitch.) i'll call n i swear i'll go down n find her if i dun get a reasonable ans.

nothing else for now. cant realli sort out my thoughts. havin a damn headache now. since noon. boo~

i'm gone. blehs.

once, they were so tiny.

so loving.

so cute.

boxers has a 'shield'.

look again.

voila.

wahahas. so cute rite my bunnies? they're so FAT!!! too fat for being less than two months old. here's their mom.

cute rite? hahas. did i mention mochi likes to shit on the bunnies? hahas. interestin hobby hor? wahahas. n we hav an amazingly clever bunny called flip(the white one). flip amazingly jump onto sis's bed to rest. hahas. so clever rite? LOL.

anyways, made cookie a few days back. hahas. quite successfully lah. but somehow the mixture was damn sweet. hahas. been walkin around these few days. my back's aching somehow. i dunno why.

went to watch april snow on 4th. not as nice as expected. maybe coz i couldnt concentrate since i'm DAMN SLEEPY. saw cheng ai hoon there. how 'lucky'. anyway, didnt bother to tok to her. dont act as if u're my mom. coz u simply aint. saw her in the ladies too, i simply turned. anyway went to tpy to get a cake for tat woman. i dun like u bitch. but i dun hav a choice but to deliver the cake to her. bleahs.

went to buy my shoes yest. bought a top. I.P. zone's better than s&k. hahas. bleahs. den walked to cine n played pool. ya, i'm not supposed to. but i did anyway. hahas. kena trashed by sly. haha. but i still win one game coz the white ball went in. muahaha.

walked around. den went to yishun. CUT my hair SHORT. now my hair is SUPER thin now. cant even tie properly. not the kind i expected. but well, my hair will grow, rite? hahas. so i dun care now. shall go cut again. soon. hahas.

feelin damn sleepy now coz didnt manage to sleep well. there's a continuous beepin sound(since yest till noe) in my room. n i've completely no idea where it's coming from. n there's some prob wif my phone i think. some weird noises came from it till i cant get to sleep n i simply had to pull out the line from it. boo~ freaky day.

now i juz need money to buy tat purple bag i wan n more money for the books. =))

today's dad bday. but we didnt realli have any idea wad to buy for him. so well, maybe a cake will do. hopefully he juz doesnt come home n sleep rite away. hahas.

i'm so scared of tml. i think i cant wake up. i dunno wad to bring. oh no! arghh..

heard from jm her neighbour passed away. blahs. life's short. enjoy while u can. u never noe wad's gonna happen a second later. so i was thinkin, am i nasty to tat woman? ahhh, i dunno. it juz sucks.

Ohh I wanna let you know
That I'll always love you baby

Sometime I think about
Everything that we've been through
And I pray that you would jus open your eyes
I love you I need you
So please don't throw our love away

Since the day you and I snuck away to be alone
I knew from that night something special went on
It must have been the first kiss
You told me that no one else in the world made you feel this
I felt the same way too but nothing stays the same
I'm sorry for the tears I'm sorry for the pain
You were the one that always made things right
I promise you this though you got a friend for life
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a little different
So lets jus kiss and say goodbye
Cuz I really cant stand the pain of seeing you cry

I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me

All that's mine is yours that's what I said
Treat you with love and respect in everyway
You wanted I gave you need me I was there
Now you treat like if I'm not here
I love you and I need you don't wanna let go
If you want somebody else please let me know
Can't take it no more I feel I'm dying inside
Is this the price I pay for handing you my life?
I know I'm not prefect but I truly cared
So when you wake up one morning and I'm not there
Jus remember I loved you it will never be the same
Gave you everything and you threw it all away

I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me

I gave you my good and my bad
My heart and my soul,
My trust my money my time,
What more can you ask from a man
Even when times are hard
I held out my arms and held you
Even excepted you though whatever weather
But now I feel it we're at the end of the rope
Whatever we had now I gotta let go
Nights like this I wish raindrops would fall
To cover my tears
Wishing I could replace all those wasted years
Of loving someone who couldn't love me back
And now again I gotta start from scratch
But I know I've given you my everything

I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me

curse tat bastard who knock into mi when i gave way to him n even stare at mi as though it's my fault. damn u asshole. bleahs.

books notes will onli be ready when sch reopen. wow. how are we gonna study on the first day of sch? blahs.

i'm going out tomolo(hopefully). my beloved discman is coming back to me. woohoo~ =D

cunsheng said jacky asked wad klass i'm in for biz mandarin. how the hell did tat jacky find out i was taking biz mandarin when i've never mention it before. blah blah blahs. but i cant be bothered by him either. hahas.

anyway was going to say FLIP WENT INTO MY ROOM. n i was wonderin how the hell it went in when my door was closed the whole time. flip shocked mi by runnin across my room at bout 6plus in the mornin. n sis has been behavin weird nowadays lor. she left one rabbit runnin around in her room WITHOUT CLOSING HER DOOR(she insisted she closed the door) n LEAVING THE HOUSE. n she wanted mi to catch it. i was super shocked when i saw her door not close. had to search around for the bunny. lucky it was disciplined enough to not run out of the room if not i'll be in deep trouble. but i didnt manage to catch it since it ran inside my sis cupboard. n she insisted she switched on the fan when she didnt. okie, it's either mi or her. hahas.

life's fragile. one lose someone important to them ever second.

did i mention saw some taekwondo guy injured the other time at ttsh? it's freaky lor. it's so dangerous. i mean like, wad if u lose ur life coz of the activity? blahs.

.fragile perfection.

went to cwp wif sis. saw this guy who's kinda cute. tsk tsk. but honestly, i'm still worried bout his situation. he has been havin on-off HIGH fever for 3 consecutive days. frankly, i dunno wad to do. he went to the clinic at semb two days back(40plus bucks). took a blood test. he wasnt okie. was refered to ttsh. so went to ttsh yest(70bucks). he took a blood test again. it appears to b okie but he's still refered back to the clinic at semb tml for blood test again(maybe another40plus bucks) in case. so in short, even ttsh is of no use. so i was thinkin wad if even after all this time of see the doc, n going for tons of blood test, losing tons of blood n he's still not okie? on-off fever which can b as high as 39.3 degree n medication does not work? wad's wrong wif him. or wad's wrong wif the medication of s'pore nowadays? blehs.

i'm scared.